Be kind. You never know what microstresses your friends, family, and colleagues are facing.

Written by Courtney Henry

Ever feel super stressed, but not able to put your finger on why?

There’s no big project looming, your kids are (finally) all healthy and at school, and you’ve even got some fun social events on your calendar in the coming weeks. And, yet, you still feel overwhelmed, behind, and exhausted.

It’s likely that microstress is to blame.

According to research published by Harvard Business Review, microstress is the “relentless accumulation of unnoticed small events — in passing moments — that is drastically affecting our well-being.”  

It’s common occurrences such as your computer restarting right before a big meeting, getting stuck in traffic, those pesky texts from your in-laws, or coming home to a messy house. In the moment, these frustrations may seem like a blip on the radar - but, research shows that these seemingly insignificant microstresses can have profound ripple effects that can impact your focus, productivity, resiliency, and confidence.  

The problem is that we don’t process microstress the same we do normal stress.

Our brains and bodies are no strangers to addressing threats. In fact, we have a built-in defense mechanism to combat stress, commonly referred to as our flight, fight, or freeze response. It’s an innate survival response that gets triggered when our brain senses a threat. And, when triggered, our bodies automatically take over to appropriately address that threat - either through a rush of cortisol or by freezing us in place.

Microstresses are actually too small to register as a credible threat. Unfortunately, however, our nervous system responds to microstresses in the same way as if we were in real danger - with increased blood pressure, heart rate and stress hormones. But, we don't get to run or fight our way to safety, which means we don’t use up that life saving energy nor do we complete the flight, fight, or freeze cycle.

This leaves us in survival mode, with nothing to be saved from.

And, it’s very likely the thing that’s leaving you and your colleagues feeling anxious, on edge, overwhelmed, and exhausted - even though nothing is “wrong.”

Is microstress impacting your wellbeing?

Take a moment to think about different types of microstress you’ve experienced over the past few days:

• Did you hit snooze on your alarm clock?
• Did your vendor miss a deadline?
• Did your meeting or appointment run long?
• Did your partner change their plans?
• Did you hit traffic on the way to work?
• Did your Zoom freeze in the middle of a presentation?
• Did you come home to a cluttered house?
• Did you forget to take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw in time for dinner?

What other sources of microstress do you notice in your daily life?

Here’s a super simple practice you can use to reduce your microstress right now

We already know that microstressors can be hard to spot - it’s precisely their “just below the surface” nature that make them so dangerous.

So, instead, instead of trying to be conscious of your microstressors, we encourage you to focus on noticing what you’re feeling more frequently throughout your day:

• Do you feel revved up, on edge, or like “the shoe is about to drop”?
• Do you feel fatigued or foggy-headed?
• Do you notice you’re short-tempered?
• Do you feel overwhelmed by the decisions you’re facing, even small ones?
• Do you feel behind on all that you have to do?

These are all signs that microstressors could be building up.

As soon as you notice these feelings, find a seat and use the following practice to interrupt your stress pattern and help you return to a calm, balanced state - all in a few seconds or less:

#1: Feel your body sitting in the chair

Don't think about your body. Feel your body in the chair. Feel how the chair supports you.

#2: Let your eyes look around the room

Or, even better, out a window. Let your eyes go where they want without any goal. Let your head follow.

#3: Allow your eyes land on something pleasing

Let your eyes land on anything pleasing for as long as you want. Then move on to the next thing, without any agenda.

#4: Now, notice how you feel

Take a moment to tune in to how your body feels. Pay attention to what’s different or what’s changed.

This simple practice works in two ways:

• First, when you feel the chair supporting you, your body will naturally settle down into that support - much the same way a crying baby settles when held. Your body sends a message to your brain that you are safe.
• Second, your eyes are a part of your brain. When you spend the majority of your workday looking at a screen your eye muscles stay contracted. When you look to the middle or far distance your eye muscles relax, sending a relaxing message to your brain. This super simple step can calm your mind and signal to your body that you are, indeed, safe.

What this means for you, your friends, your family, and your team

Stress is inevitable. Now matter what policies you pass or systems you put in place, there will be stress in your life, in your home, and in your organization. And, oftentimes, it will be the most subtle of stressors that have the biggest impact.

 While triaging the effects of microstress is certainly needed, it’s equally as important to equip yourself, your loved ones, and your team with the skills they need to address the root cause of micro and macro stressors (which will be different from everyone). Not only has research shown this to be more effective in addressing stress, anxiety, and even depression in the short term, but increasing your capacity to understand and regulate their nervous system can have far reaching - preventative, even - effects far into your future. That's exactly what we do in The Success Solution. Our next cohort is launching soon - stay tune to learn more!